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You apparently fell asleep and watched the wrong movie; you didn't even get the title right.

Posted by Audiophilander on January 26, 2008 at 23:15:27:
Were you looking for Chip & Dale, or a documentary of David Coverdale? ;0)
Just teasing, but I'm a little surprised and curious about your extreme dislike for this film.
>>> "This movie has zero suspense." <<<
No offense, but I have to disagree strongly with that impression. Maybe you didn't like the characters and therefor didn't care what happened to them, but to suggest that there was no suspense is just wrong; I don't know how I can be more emphatic about it.
>>> "Things shake, people die. Always." <<<
Are you upset because folks apparently die in a film about a gargantuan beast destroying a city? (shrug)
>>> "Yes, the camera shakes but it's the shaky story and direction that sink it." <<<
Sorry tin, but the story is a refreshing re-envisioning of the monster genre which works quite well and no amount of bellyaching is going to alter that. Not only is this view shared by most of the nation's leading film critics, but the public concurs. Besides, the story isn't at all shaky when one considers the rationale for documenting events.
IMHO, the Director captured everything he should've caught during the panicked evacuation. BTW, the film didn't "tank", in fact it reached 1st place ($40 mil. plus for the first weekend) at the Box Office, so I'm not sure what you saw sinking, but it wasn't Cloverfield!
>>> "Absolutely no reason to see this film." <<<
From a very narrow, highly subjective perspective perhaps, but once again, I'm forced to strongly disagree. The only caveat I would place on this movie is that those who are overly sensitive to motion sickness might want to sit further back because the constant hand held camera movement can be disorienting.
The bottom line: Cloverfield was a brilliant film for it's genre and broke new ground even though it does owe BWP for some influence. Note: We may have to just agree to disagree on this one, but it's a shame that you feel the need to discredit this film so vigorously when a great many folks are finding this a totally worthwhile experience.
Respectfully,
AuPh