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List your top ten CRAPPEST movies of the noughties

Posted by Doug Flynn on December 18, 2009 at 17:36:01:
Hi chaps

Just as the noughties was a bumper decade for great flicks, it also churned out a vast number of stinkers.

Here's my top ten (in order of crapness). Note that I have only listed movies I've actually seen. It goes without saying that any movie featuring Jim Carrey, Will Farrell, Sandra Bullock, Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller or Owen Couldn't-Even-Top-Himself-Properly Wilson is going to suck beyond belief, so I can't list any of their movies as I've avoided them like the plague.

1. Gerry - A shit sandwich (without the bread).

2. I'm Not There - A celluloid form of masturbation.

3. The Wicker Man (remake) - Worse than a case of terminal hemorrhoids.

4. I Robot - I can just imagine the production team storyboarding this one: "Hmmm, we need an ending. I know, let's just recycle the crap-arse ending from Independence Day".

5. Evolution - Made by 8 year olds, for 8 year olds. Bilge

6. Immortal - A movie that sets new standards by having no plot.

7. Star Wars II Attack of the Clones - I have to admit I could only watch half of this as it was so bad. You'd think with the vast production budget they could have hired at least one actor who could actually act.

8. Serenity/Firefly - Yeah, a 13 year old girl despatching grown men with Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the head. Nauseatingly goody-two-shoes crap.

9. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (remake) - Why Oh God Why?

10. Flight Plan - Anyone who couldn't guess the outcome of this movie within the first 12 seconds has had a frontal lobotomy.

Just missed the list: 10,000BC, Paul Blart Mall Cop, Stepford Wives and GI Joe. I never saw any of these, but the trailers looked so bad I thought I could safely include them.

Cheers. Doug