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Let me save you money: "King Arthur" and "The Mummy".

Posted by free.ranger on December 1, 2017 at 15:17:20:

$6 bucks each from Comcast, and I have to say I gambled in Vegas. Translated, that means I lost.

King Arthur starts okay; a twisted take on the Arthur tale, directed by Guy Ritchie. I should have been flagged off right there, but no, ... I pressed the magic on-screen pay button. The role call was impressive; Charlie Hunnam was decent as Arthur, Eric Bana and Jude Law as good father and evil uncle. Fairly large names for a movie like this. It went off the rails by combining all kinds of fantastical, mystical, even sci-fi bits in and out of the classical tale. Stuff that didn't mesh or make sense. Giant snakes, a co-resident race of non-humans with fuzzy magic, giant elephants out of nowhere, on and on. It lost its footing somewhere in the middle and got really stoopid. But it you like swords, this has a nice one, seen often and doing things to the man that aren't obvious or described.

The Mummy remake has Tom Cruise working with Russell Crowe. I didn't see that one coming. Can't believe Crowe popped up here, but there he was. Again, this mixes classic metaphors when the female mummy meets the Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde character in a secret lab where other evil vectors are contained. Bigfoot was probably in there somewhere. The story unfolds by chasing the mummy around, but in nondescript ways and for undefined reasons. Cruise plays a figure who is never sure if he was then or if he is now, or when is which. He was the mummy's boyfriend, but he loves the lady anthropologist, etc, etc. Very confusing and odd. It doesn't end; he just finds himself in the Egyptian desert and rides off into the sand. Zero closure and zero explanations throughout. But in the process, you get it all everywhere.

Both movies sum up as no focus of plot.