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Well, I'm glad you just "let the film take you away" and don't

over intellectualize! :--)
You raise many fascinating points. I'll just mention a couple: I thought, perhaps, he was present in the scenes he showed, he just didn't envision himself in the memory of them.
Second, from his interactions with the housekeeper, I thought he showed his curmudgeonly self. I thought Bergman was being "straight" in telling us this (through other characters). In fact, I think it's a powerful part of the film, the old man realizing his nature and finally finding peace in his last times from a contemplation of his earlier life.
The power of a father's personality to influence his son also evaporates under your analysis.
But, different interpretations are fine: that's the hallmark of a great work of art, it's not easily pigeon-holed.


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