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The Bourne Utlimatum ... the Ultimate Boredom!

Posted by halfnote (A) on March 7, 2008 at 20:10:26

the ultimate in pointless kinetics.

I don't know WHY I pay-per-viewed this flick. It scoured the cable company's usual vapid selection of hi-def films. I then cross-referenced them on Rotten Tomatoes, the review website, and made a list of the highest rated films.

Interestingly, this film was THE highest rated of any of the available pay-per-view fare, a 92 I think!

Well, make sure you take your Rotten Tomatoes with a grain of salt.

{WARNING! Spoilers ahead!}

This film consisted of several iterations of the very same scene. It goes something like this:

EVIL CIA DIRECTOR:
We've got Bourne cornered THIS time. I want a 7-block perimeter hermetically sealed. All available personel on alert! Special Ops, too! Shoot to kill. Bring in the helicopters. I want roof to roof surveillance. Snipers at ready. There's NO WAY he can escape!

{Hint: Bourne escapes, leaving a few broken windows, crashed cars, and mercessly beaten up CIA agents in his wake ... and oh, there is usually a nice explosion or two thrown in.}

In between these frenetic, utterly predictable cat and mouse episodes, punctuated with dizzying camera movements and loud noises, there are only they most rudimentary and perfunctory efforts at characterization and story-telling.

Finally, we arrive at the most anti-climactic of climaxes in memory. He finds out his real name, which is NOT Jason Bourne, but "David Web." AH HAAAAA! Huh?

Don't ask me the signficance of this vital discovery. I just saw the movie.

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