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Not Transformed by the experience (review, edited & moved up).

Posted by Audiophilander on July 5, 2007 at 10:57:53:
Well friends, this preordained blockbuster is as lame as one has come to expect, or rather fear, from a Michael Bay production. I sat through the whole film feeling a little like the Transformer who was 'lubricated' by the Witwicky pet chihuahua, but this isn't the first time this director has pissed me off.

In fact, this turned out to be one of those rare occasions when I wished that I'd purchased the Kong sized Frosty before the previews of coming attractions so that mid-way through the main feature I'd have a legitimate excuse to seek relief.

On the plus side, the effects were well done, as expected, as were some of the characters. This was unexpected because the acting is inconsistant. Very good performances by Rachel Taylor (Maggie) and Shia LaBeouf (Sam) as two teens drawn together by attraction and circumstance, along with Josh Duhamel (Sergeant Lennox) and his buddies brought back to Washington from the Middle East. The rest of the performances, with rare exception, sucked diesel fumes. The dialog was just too poorly written and painfully juvenile at times, especially the ridiculous behavior emanating from the Section 7 characters; in fact all of the government officials were either inept bunglers, cardboard stereotypes or comic relief buffoons.

The GOOD Transformers (Bumblebee, et al.) are hardly interesting enough to develop much sympathy and with all the monosyllabic posturing it started looking more like a WCW bout than a movie. In fact it's easier rooting for Megatron's 'boys' than Optimus Prime's, since Megatron has been placed in cold storage for government study so that the Feds can scavenge alien technology! Along this line I kept thinking how much more authentic and sympathetic Brad Bird's animated film Iron Giant was in comparison to this travesty.

Subjectively speaking, giving Transformers two stars on a 1-5 scale is generous based upon the caliber of it's special effects and the surprisingly believable chemistry between Sam & Maggie, the two fish-out-of-water teens. Their characters acquired an amazing amount of depth in a movie that treaded water, making this popcorn munching summer flick at least watchable over it's 2 hour and twenty minute duration.

I also must credit several of the not-so-goofy humorous scenes including the one where the soldiers on duty in the Middle East under Transformer attack have difficulty getting the phone call through to Washington (sorry, no spoilers). It's worth noting that the better moments in this movie survived in spite of the flimsy plot and somehow managed to avoid turning slapstick; unfortunately, too many scenes did turn slapstick.

BUT in fairness, when weighed against a relentless salvo of hokey scenes that reeked of over-the-top silliness like the Keystone Kop antics of John Turturro's Agent Simmons trying securing everything in the most faux macho manner possible, two stars is all I can muster. Crowds may be applauding at the end, but my gut reaction is that the audience's praise might just be gratitude that the film was finally over.

The bottom line is that Transformers did meet my expectations (for a Michael Bay film), but just barely, and my expectations were very low. ** / *****

Ciao,
AuPh