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'Hercaleez': Warning - You may leave the theater with a single digit IQ

Posted by Billy Wonka on July 27, 2014 at 18:46:58:
Not much to say about this "summer spectacular" movie featuring the Rock and a few heady Brit types including Ian McShane. (They needed a check.) Long on costume, long on extras and stage blood, but short on meaningful dialog and storyline. Of course, you knew this before me because you didn't buy a ticket.

The Rock (born to play this role) did his usual vapid characterization of the mythological meat head. He was pumped and being loud but not "300" loud. Herc, a demigod, was in a bind because Hera (Zeus' wife) was pissed that Zeus diddled around down here begetting Herc. She put a few "conditions" on Herc in order for him to live an unencumbered life amongst the mortals. Herc's nephew ran PR for him by going around and telling all kinds of tales of bravery and strength. Herc had a small band of men who followed him around doing their mercenary best to make a living. The group became ensnared in Thrace when the King asked for their assistance in a civil war that was costing him dearly. The King (Hurt) convinced Rock and off they went chasing the "rebels" only to find out near the end of the story that the "rebels" were the good guys.

Everyone pretty much dialed in their good stuff. There were comical bits and Ian McShane got the best ones being he was the seer who knew when he was going to die. All in all, a colorful film that had the most extras I've seen in a long time (if they weren't CGI). The main thrust of this film was to drag you into the 3D theater. Our local picture shows had maybe two 2D showings and the resting 3D which means youg'uns were supposed to be escorted. I believe there were just two F Bombs and that was the worst of it. No t&a (no ticket).

Hire somebody to take the kids.