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"Superman Returns:" goodie, goodie?!

The interminable credits are the most irritating in memory: ridiculous music (composed by the editor, who should have been fired for that alone), terribly boring and repetitive images.
The "new" Superman: better than Reeves. More... vulnerable. Younger looking. More emotive.
Lois: hideous. Fat, square face. Looks like any number of youngish actresses (a dead ringer for the newest Ms. Cruise). A body devoid of any noticeable shape.
Spacey's L. Luthor: not very nasty, actually. He simply cannot top his own work in "Se7en." Kind of like casting Hannibal... excuse me, Hopkins: they're forever linked with psychopaths and should eschew (harrumph) similar roles.
The number of times the writer channeled Jesus is too many to note. How many times must Superman raise his arms (imitating Christ the Redeemer's pose atop Corcovado)?
He is also raised from the dead.
There's a guy named "Luthor," which is close enough for me.
A CRITICALLY IMPORTANT NOTE FOR MIDDLE-AGED GUYS:
unless you piss into your popcorn box, you're not going to make it through this film.
What the hell happened to intermissions for near-three hour movies?
Sure, Lawrence of Arabia (it had an intermission) needed that length but does... a super-hero movie?
In this type of film, there are just so many intense climaxes one can withstand in a certain amount of time (until they offer Viagra-laced popcorn). After the over-the-top, ultra-intense opening, half that hoard of adrenaline was used up.
Oh, did I mention the up-to-the-date issues covered here, i.e. the difficulties of single-parenting and job-juggling?
Actually, were it trimmed of all the considerable lard, this could have been a decent film.
As it is, make sure to avoid all liquids for several hours previous or... buy a cup of popcorn and sit far from your neighbors.
Barring that, don't worry. Chances are you'll just be missing an insignificant part of a scene that goes on waaaaaaaaay too long.



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Topic - "Superman Returns:" goodie, goodie?! - tinear 18:07:26 07/05/06 (27)


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