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You have to undesrtand that I couldn't watch the whole thing at once. Caught snips here and there, just enough to picture the whole story. What a piece of crap!
Follow Ups:
I'm a Tom Green fan, but this movie wasn't worth the film stock to make prints on! 'Freddy got Fingered' makes 'Joe Dirt' look like 'Night at the Roxbury'!Dman
:))
quote from the boston globe: "Spade handles this acting challenge by keeping his face expressionless at all times."
You know, there are a lot of bad movies out there . . but only a few that are so bad that they make me angry - angry enough to start cursing at my TV.Enemy at the Gates and Bless the Child did this to me. Enemy at the Gates, just because the acting was so bad and the actions of the characters were so illogical; and Bless the Child for lacking even a suggestion of a creative or clever thought.
I have a feeling that Bless the Child was written by a room full of very stupid monkeys chained to typewriters ("Ok, ok . settle down . . your assignment tonight is 'modern day jesus child overcomes badness with goodness' . . and don't get fancy, we want to market this to the sunday school crowd . . the first one to deliver 5,000 words gets an extra banana . . go!"). Sorry for the rant, but I just finished watching this 5 minutes ago and it was so bad that I feel like somebody just stole my wallet. Save your money on this one, folks.
Other random bad movies I've seen recently:
The Mummy Returns (but I was expecting this to be bad, so I had fun watching it)
The Mexican (actually turned this off halfway through - I find Julia Roberts to be a painful experience)
Dude, where's my car (yeah, but I didn't expect it to be THAT bad, he he)
Oh, and the ultimate bad movie - the movie that is so bad that other bad movies must prostrate themselves before its glory of ultimate badness . . The Avengers! Wow. Not much you can say about that one . . . it's just so . . amazingly horrible. And yet somehow it transcends other bad movies in that it is so incredibly bad, that you can't even enjoy it as a bad movie.
That said, some really GOOD movies I've seen lately (that manage to feed my faith that there are good filmmakers out there) - all highly recommended:American Movie (fantastic documentary about some poor schmuck in Wisconsin trying to fulfil his dream of making a horror movie - highly recommended)
The Warriors (love this one - did you know it's based on an ancient greek tragedy from 4th century BC?)
Bob Roberts
The General (IRA thief)
Das Boot
Memento (truly brilliant, I thought - they manage to force the audience to experience exactly what the heroine was experiencing)
Strange Days (cheeseball science fiction - but it's got that whole brainstorm theme going and was fun)
Free Enterprise (william shatner, oh yeah)
American Psycho
Cop Land
I saw that one a couple of weeks ago. Very badly produced film, with spotty presentation of historical facts and bad script. Human conflict, the battle of wills, love story, all nonsense. There was a German film made a few years ago, aptly titled Stalingrad; it was better in every aspect. There is also a very good book, titled "Stalingrad" or “In the Trenches of Stalingrad”, written by Viktor Nekrasov. I believe it's been translated into English.
Stalingrad was a fantastic movie - a little bogged down at points, but brutal and honest. Fantastic acting. It was actually one of the first DVD's I bought for my personal collection.I think that what makes or breaks a movie for me is whether or not I'm able to completely suspend my disbelief throughout the entire film. For example, with Enemy at the Gates - from the very beginning I was thinking "this person is a bad actor . . . hey, why is their hair so perfect when they just got shot at . . what was the writer thinking in this scene? . . I wonder how you build a set like that . ." and similar thoughts. With Stalingrad, I never once aknowledged that it was a movie, and simply bought into the entire story without question. I never thought of the characters being actors in real life. I never thought about writers and directors and cameras and lights.
My sneaking suspicion is that a film's ability to maintain my suspended disbelief is directly correlated to how hard they try to make the main characters look beautiful in every scene. Perfect hair after a gun battle, a clean shave after a week in the jungle, perfectly plucked eyebrows and fresh makeup while trapped on a mountain top - these are the things that make me hate a movie . . liuke a digital watch in a caveman movie. Jaundice and gangrene and unhealthy pallors . . these are what war and adventure movies must be made of if they want it to be believable.
I think I'm still ranting from last night's Bless the Child experience. Ha.
I agree with you. Enemy was a weak one, producers hoped to cash in on the success of the private Ryan, I guess. Thing is that with these monster budgets they could do a much better job in every aspect of this film.
Believability is priority # 1 for me when I go to the pictures. I saw the Apocalypse Now the Redux last week and it blew me away, no matter how absurd the whole thing was.
When I was a teenager I read a story by Karel Capek of the War With Salamanders fame. It dealt with a disappearance and suspected murder of a well-known actor and womanizer. The detective assigned to the case had trouble finding the guy, but when he learned a bit about him, he realized that the guy was a perfectionist in his art. He then had no trouble identifying him by the black wax that was stuck between the teeth of one of the corpses in the morgue. Wax along with rags and make-up was used by the actor to accentuate the appearance of a bum he was going to play. He was researching the role when he got killed by an angry husband.
Anyway, point is that Enemy at the Gates was as believable as those velvet Elvis pictures one sees at fleamarkets.
... but I would have to differ with you about Enemy at the Gates being, how did you put it, "garbage!" I thought that the acting was quite solid and the story involving. While the movie doesn't focus enough on the actual battle over Stalingrad and gets a bit bogged down in the rather contrived romantic triad of it's central characters, details within the story bear out much of what I've read of the conflict and the actions of each of the characters are all highly plausible. Perhaps it's just my own preference for gritty detail or the fact that so little has been done to accurately convey this epic struggle to western audiences, but IMHO, Enemy at the Gates succeeded, at least on the big screen.Respectfully,
AuPh
It wasn't as good as I'd hoped it would be, but I enjoyed it, too.
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